So much of your time is spent thinking about your family-building journey. The tests, the ultrasounds, the medications, the money and the emotional rollercoaster. How do you decide when to call it quits and walk away?
This is a heavy topic. Trust us, we know this is not easy for you. As healthcare providers we see the wear-down on our patients, we know that the struggle is all too real. That is why we want to be straight forward. So here we go!
Recurrent loss:
When you can get pregnant at the drop-of-a-hat, but you miscarry every time, the world around you starts to crumble. You blame yourself and you grow increasingly frustrated. If you have not done so already, you should seek out a medical professional who can help treat recurrent loss (you might want to get some counseling help too). When you have done every test, every medication recommended and you still can not carry on your own, it’s time to think about other options like donor egg, gestational carrier or adoption. When you keep banging your head against the wall you only hurt yourself. Try to talk through other viable options with your partner and your health provider.
IUI’s times a thousand:
We have seen this a time or two. You keep doing IUIs because you don’t believe in IVF, you can’t afford it or you are scared. That is OK! But, if you’re on your 10th one, it might be time to have a sit down with your doctor. If you are not successfully conceiving with IUI’s it is time to talk about other options like moving to IVF or moving to adoption. There could be a number of reasons why you are not getting pregnant from sex and IUIs (abnormal eggs, sperm issues, fertilization problems…). Try to at least talk about other options, and think about what YOU want and which options makes you feel most comfortable.
Your 13th IVF cycle…:
Same as above! If you continue to do round after round of IVF cycles with no success, it’s time to sit down with your doctor, or seek out another opinion and regroup. Continued rounds of high hormonal doses, and multiple negative pregnancy tests led to stress, depression and
Financials:
Let face it. Fertility treatment are expensive! Some can pay over $100,000 in fertility treatments. You need to sit down and come up with a financial plan before starting treatments. It’s a great idea to check-in, see how much money you have to work with, go over insurance coverage a decide on a number that makes you feel comfortable.
Mental health:
Your mental health is paramount. When fertility treatments make you feel completely paralyzed, depressed, and impact your relationship with others, seek help! Therapists, support groups and yoga are a great place to start. When things become too heavy, take a break and give yourself time to heal.
All of this said, it’s never about giving up. It’s about changing the course and reviewing other options.
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